Rowling and Seuss: Together at Last
by Cassiel Oliviari
Summary: Here's the plot, its Hogwarts rhymes. I'm sure you've heard it many times. But this has story, romance too. You have to check if its for you! HG, DHr, RL.UPDATED1019
1. Part One

Disclaimer: I do not own him, go away/ I just want Harry now to play

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A/N: A friend and I decided it would be wonderful to do a dr.seuss inspired Harry Potter story. Horrid, eh?

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Harry:

Good gracious, mercy me, alas

Is my birthday here at last?

It must be true, for here's my card

From Ginny, who's a modern bard.

"_Oh Harry dear,"_ she writes with glee

__

"I've simply fallen hard for thee

"Hurry, honey, do not lag

"Come o'er here so we can shag."

(VERNON pounds on the door)

****

Harry:

God no, it's the big fat ass

Who's never going to let me pass

__

(VERNON opens the door and glowers at Harry)

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Vernon:

Get on up, you tub of poo

Your stupid friends are here for you

Already one has made some gum

Shoot out of dear old Dudley's bum…

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Harry:

Is that what's really bugging you?

__

(VERNON turns puce-y)

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Vernon:

…of course he had to eat it too

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Hermione:

Harry, Harry, are you there?

Don't give us a frightful scare!

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Vernon:

Of course he's here, you useless whore!

(_DRACO pops out of no where)_

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Draco:

Weasley's family is dirt poor!

__

(pops out)

****

Ron:

Hey, that was uncalled for, git!

Harry:

Lets just go…

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Vernon:

…get on with it!

****

Hermione:

I'm glad you're here now, Harry Potter

Ronald's being quite the rotter

I've almost pushed him in a bush

Because he tried to pinch my tush!

****

Harry:

Too much info, Hermy dear

And Ron, stop staring at her rear!

****

Ron:

But its not too thin and not too fat!

__

(HARRY stares as well)

****

Harry:

I cant blame you for groping that!

Vernon:

Find a room, you horny three!

And get the hell away from me!

In fact, go live out by the fen

And never come back here again!

****

Dumbledore's Voice:

Mind my last, Petunia dear

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Vernon:

I'M NOT MY WIFE, YOU WRINKLED QUEER!

You friggen kids, you make me ill

Leave before I start to kill!

(_The Golden Trio run out the door, and see DUDLEY playing on the grass. He waves at HERMIONE)_

Dudley:

Thanks for the chew, you sexy felon

Now, was it grape or watermelon?

****

Hermione:

The former, fatso, juicy grape

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Harry:

Hermione, isn't that man Snape?

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Hermione:

That is the man, I do so fear

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Ron:

What the hell's he doing here?

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Snape:

I am Snape, the potion's master

Bringing you to safety faster

Your happy lives are now in danger

And by the way, nice bottom Granger

Ron:

Ew, stop that little nasty moan!

That booty's mine, and mine alone!

****

Hermione:

Sod off, you wanking tongue depressor

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Harry:

What's the problem now, Professor?

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Snape:

I'm taking you to Grimmauld Place

Where isolation you will face

We can't afford to let you out

For fear you'd die, without a doubt

You three, you're finally out of luck

The Half-Blood Prince has run amok

Hermione:

I've read the whole damn library

But I've never heard a word of he

Is he mean or is he nice?

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Snape:

He's just a stupid plot device

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Harry:

So why is he a sudden urk?

I bet I could beat up that jerk!

What makes this boob a fearsome prick?

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Snape:

He carries one big giant stick

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Ron:

NOT A STICK! That's really bad

My gramp just _saw_ one, and went mad!

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Hermione:

That seem so awful, every bit

Though I've never heard of it

We've got to get you off the street

Before this Prince hits you a beat!

****

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O 

Will Harry be alright?

Will he get into a fight?

Why am I still rhyming this?

Do you find these words amiss?

(Elfaghetti's note: 'I am Snape, the potions master' is written in homage to potterpuppetpals. Com. Go there. Now)


	2. Part Two

Disclaimer: see chapter one

Part Two

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Harry:

Am I at a weirdo rally?

No, I'm in Diagon Alley!

With my friend, the faithful Ron

Who's so steadfast….

__

(DRACO pops out of no where)

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Draco:

….but still a swan

****

Ron:

Hey that was uncalled for, git!

****

Draco:

You just said that, you little twit!

Gosh darn, Weasley, you are dumb!

Your brain's the size of my left thumb!

****

Hermione:

Where's your parents, girly-boy?

****

Draco:

Why don't you stop being coy?

I know you want me, bootylicious

I'll let you know, I'll be quite vicious

I can't have mudbloods loving me

If I did that, where would I be?

__

(DRACO leaves)

****

Harry:

C'mon Ron, Lets go inside

And find ourselves some brooms to ride

****

Ron:

Hermy doesn't like that, ninny

****

Hermione:

That's okay, I'll go find Ginny

__

(She runs off, only to be detained by DRACO)

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Draco:

Hush now, mudblood, make no noise

Don't alert your little boys

Though you're a bint, I have to say

I think you're sexy anyway

****

Hermione:

May I have some of what you're on?

Cause right now you sound just like Ron

****

Draco:

Don't say I'm like Weasel-King!

****

Hermione:

Are you scared of that one thing?

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Draco:

I'm not scared you stupid whore

Being scared is such a bore

I'd rather be, say, petrified

But I'm not, I even tried

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Hermione:

Stop being such a little jerk

Just let me go so I can work

****

Draco:

Working's such a horrid task

So while you're here, I'd like to ask

Do you like to hear sweet rhyme?

If so, than you should hearken mine

****

Hermione:

Do I really have a choice?

****

Draco:

See? I knew that you'd rejoice!

__

(He pulled a crumpled sheet of parchment from out of his robes, and begins to read)

****

Draco:

__

"Oh Mudblood fair, oh Mudblood fair

"I wish to stroke your bouffy hair

"And lick your lips, so soft and pink

"Gaze in your eyes of brown, I think

"Your arse is fairer than J.Lo's

"I wish to see you without clothes

"I dream of making love to you

"Signed your dearest Drakey-poo"

****

Hermione:

Boy, I think you're out of luck

Cause frankly Malfoy, you do suck!

__

(DRACO gets mad, and pushes her away.)

****

Draco:

I'm soon to be your worstest fear

Because we are both Heads this year!

****

Hermione:

Stupid freaking fanfic writer

When I see her, I will bite her

He's so stupid, in the books

He'd only be Head on his looks!

__

(She meets up with GINNY)

****

Ginny:

Was that Malfoy you were with?

****

Hermione:

Don't tell Ron, he'd have a tiff

Yes, that was Malfoy, head of bone

I wish he would leave me alone!

****

Ginny:

Really, Hermy, you're quite blind

He's super sexy, though not kind

****

Hermione:

Though he has become quite hot

Willy Shakespeare he is not

He composed gross poetry

Bout how he wants some sex, with me!

****

Ginny:

Hermione, you lucky girl!

Why not go give him a whirl?

We'd all kill for his attention

Yet you don't give him a mention!

****

Hermione:

Should I do it, Ginny dear?

****

Ginny:

Course yes, silly, don't you fear

Hes had many girls, I bet

And he's never harmed one…..yet

------------------------

****

SHOULD SHE GO FOR IT?

__

(of course, silly head! Wouldn't you?)


	3. Part Three

Disclaimer: me no own the harry potter

Part Three:

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Harry:

Now we're on the Hogwarts train

Ron is still being a pain

Because dear Hermy's left the room

That is what increased his gloom

__

(GINNY whispers to HARRY)

****

Ginny:

We need to make dear Ron get out

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Harry:

Quiet Ginny, do not shout

****

Ginny:

I wasn't shouting, little prick

But now we need to really trick

Ron's not leaving by himself….

__

(She points out the window)

****

Ginny:

Isn't that a squished house elf?

__

(Ron looks, while GINNY and HARRY run out the door)

****

Ron:

No it's not, now don't you fear

Hey, why did you all leave me here?

__

(cut to Hermione and Draco [why is my damn capslock not working?] ****

Hermione:

Malfoy, you're a stupid sob

But now we have to do our job

As Heads, we must arrange and work

Now call the Prefects, little jerk

****

Draco:

I feel so loved, my Mudblood cow

Come over here and snog me now

****

Hermione:

You need some work with your romance.

Think with your head, and not your pants

Get off your butt, you lazy fart

Call them here so we can start

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(Draco screams for the prefects)

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Draco:

HURRY PREFECTS COME THIS WAY!

POTTER'S TELLING US HE'S GAY!

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(all the prefects run down the hall, and into the compartment)

****

Draco:

Hahaha, I fooled you all!

Potter's snogging down the hall.

With the Weasley girl, no less

Groping up her flimsy dress

****

Ron:

THAT'S NOT TRUE, YOU LOUSY LOUT!

****

Hermione:

Shut up, or we'll kick you out!

****

Ron:

Fine, I know when I'm not wanted!

I'll go off to a place less haunted.

Sod off Malfoy, you're so dumb

HEY STOP GROPING HERMY'S BUM!

__

(The Prefects throw Ron out off the compartment)

****

Draco:

Now that the Weasels gone, the jerk

We'd best be getting back to work

We have a ball to plan right here

****

Hermione:

But, we did not have one last year

Why this sudden change in weather?

****

Draco:

They're hoping we will get together

Your will tame that bushy mess

Also, you can wear a dress

That shows off cleavage all around

****

Hermione:

Hearken, do I hear a sound?

No, it's just the drafty hall

(Prefects laugh)

****

Draco:

She acts like I'm not here at all

I feel hurt, oh woe am I

I should become a sappy guy

Now, so Granger will not tease

Or kick my shins, and scrape my knees

I hope that none can hear my aims

Or I'll hex the Prefects (who have no names)

****

Prefect One:

Malfoy, are you quite alright?

****

Draco:

Yes, I am, just shut it tight

****

Hermione:

Can't you just be nice to all?

****

Draco:

Of course, my little Mudblood doll

I can be nice, you wait and see

Pretty soon, I'll flirt with thee

And be a charming little fay

I don't know why, but that's okay

__

(Train stops, and everyone gets out. No one notices th Half-Blood Prince lurking in the shadows)

****

HBP:

Here I am, the Half-Blood Prince

I'll soon turn Potter into mince

I'm a sneaky little flea

And fandom's guessing who I be

There are some things that are debated

Like if my title's hyphenated

But who cares, just ask the author

I'M HERE TO MURDER HARRY POTTER!!!


	4. Part Four

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine

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I've decided to experiment with other styles of rhyme, not just couplets. So, there will be some bad limericks here, courtesy of Draco Malfoy

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Part Four

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Hermione:

Move away, please don't you mind

We're back into the daily grind

I have to work, and go to class

And study hard, and hope to pass

If I don't I will be sad

Hey, don't push!

****

Half-Blood Prince (in disguise):

Oh, whoops, my bad!

****

Hermione:

That's okay, I am not hurt

Excuse me now, I must be curt

Are you new to these school doors?

I've never seen you here before!

****

HBP:

Yes I am, thanks all the same

(_RON and HARRY walk up)_

****

Ron:

Hey, you're new!

****

Harry:

What is your name?

__

(HBP thinks quickly)

****

HBP:

Uh, my name's Alberd Hooc-Plinf

But you can call me all but wimp _(it doesn't rhyme, but nothing rhymes with "plinf")_

(They all walk into the Great Hall, where the Sorting Ceremony is happening)

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Ron:

Hey, Alberd, have you been sorted?

****

HBP:

I will, or so it's been reported

Soon, I hope, and I am sure

That I will be in Gryffindor

****

Malfoy:

Look, its Potty, and his dorks

With faces you could carve from spork

****

Ron:

Sod off, Malfoy, stupid head

Say one more thing, and you'll be dead

****

Malfoy:

I'm so scared, you gay bi-atch

I'm fearing your small Fire crotch

You're not man enough, I bet

To even crash a tiny fete

****

Harry:

Lets just go, leave him alone

****

HBP:

You are right, lets go back home

__

(Golden trio and HBP head off. Malfoy grabs Hermione)

****

Malfoy:

Silly Mudblood, I'm not done

I've just began my nightly fun

So right before you join your crew

I have a small poem for you

"There once was a guy named Malfoy

A most handsome and clever young boy

Granger walked up to it

And flashed him her tit

And said, 'Here is your brand new chew toy.'"

****

Hermione:

In your dreams, you dumb inbred

I would do that, if you were dead

****

Malfoy:

Then I have hope, I do suppose

To get you to take off your clothes

I guess you would be stupid too

Since the Dark Lord has fool-ed you

****

Hermione:

What? You must have been away

I'd never give him time of day!

****

Malfoy:

Shows how dumb you really will

Dumbo bint, I'll help you still

I am not evil, so I will do

I have another rhyme for you

"There once was a girl from West Ham

Who got suckered into a foul scam

She had some fair warning

But thought them all boring

And did not heed the anagram"

****

Hermione:

The substance isn't right, you bum

'Cause dear West Ham, I am not from

Your rhyming, though, has gotten better

But I will never be your debtor

****

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

__

Bum BUM BUM! REJECTED!!!!

****

Elfaghetti, SlytherinRoyalty, Shanmo, -babiegirl-, Edgar –A. –Poe, Achiagoil, Sassy-diva2004, duj, XxPaDfOoTiExX, harryptaxd204, lildaisygirl24 _(ur the first one from P:HG to review this! Rock on!)_


	5. Part Five

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter

__

Happy birthday Hermione! I'm writing a little birthday fic for her, that should be up by tomorrow.

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Part Five

Snape:

Today's the first day of my class

And none of you, I think, will pass

Your heads are filled with useless notions

That interfere with making potions

****

Draco:

Excuse me, Prof, notice me please

I do have talent to mix these

Potions, which I do adore

Would you like me to talk more?

****

Snape:

That's okay, my bleach-blonde friend

I would prefer if you did end

****

Ron:

You've been told, you stupid bore!

****

Snape:

50 points from Gryffindor!

****

HBP (in disguise):

Does he always act like this?

His biased-ness is hard to miss

__

(Later, in the Gryffindor Common Room….)

****

Harry:

Why am I here, oh Ginny fair?

Why am I here, and not o'er there?

Have you chores for me to do?

****

Ginny:

I have something to tell you

Please my lover, do not rant

Because, dear Harry, I'm pregnant

****

Harry:

OMIGOD! Surely you jest!

****

Ginny:

I had to get it off my chest

I found it out, oh, just last week

Was I brave, or am I meek?

****

Harry:

You are brave, my sweetie, oh!

__

(RON walks in)

****

Ron:

Why are you two yelling so?

And where is Herm, she's missing now

Please tell me why, or tell me how

****

Ginny:

Not yet, Ron, just go away

Go find Crookshanks, go to play

__

Meanwhile, in the dungeons…..

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Hermione:

Lalala, dumdumdum dee

****

Draco:

Are you looking here for me?

****

Hermione:

No, I'm working on my rounds

Why are you not off school grounds?

You're known for sneaking off at night

I'll let you go without a fight

****

Draco:

You shain't believe all that you hear

Because I'm not that bad, my dear

****

Hermione:

Shut up, Draco, go away

I have to finish this today

****

Draco:

Why, you're calling me Draco!

Not stupid dick or little ho!

Do you think I am really hot?

****

Hermione:

Sorry Malfoy, I do not

Just go to sleep, and snore in bed

And I will go pretend you're dead

****

Draco:

Sorry Herm, I do think not

I'm too wound up, and you're too hot

We can't let hormones go to waste

Kiss me now, I want to taste.

****

Hermione:

Shut up, dude, I think you're gay!

****

Draco:

It's your birthday here today……

(_Hermione is taken aback)_

****

Hermione:

Are you stalking me, Draco?

Yes it is, how did you know?

****

Draco:

I just knew, because I'm on

Did Potter 'member, or did Ron?

****

Hermione:

No, they didn't, they're too busy

__

(Draco leans in and kisses her)

****

Hermione:

Wow, that did make me quite dizzy!

****

Draco:

There's plenty more where that came from

****

Hermione:

I'm almost done, you want to come?

__

(The two walk off down the deserted corridor. The HBP pops out of no where.)

****

HBP:

Stupid Weasley, Stupid Potter

They let her get away, the rotter

She's their brains, and now they're lost

I can blow a lot of cost

Now they're blind, and full of ike

Perfect time for me to strike

****

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

UHUHUH! UH oH! I had to let Hermione have a bit of nookie on her birthday. It was only right.

Exit42, gatomonandkarifan, SlytherinRoyalty_ (school sucks)_**, harryptaxd204, sassy-diva2004, A Story of the Year, shanmo**_( I have a brief history of slash with my other main fic. I love using it as a secondary thingy, and I might in this story) _**, shortie522, -babiegirl-, Maurader-Magick33, Kay-Dee-S, lildasiygirl24, Elfaghetti, MusicalBeans, scarlet-knight14**


	6. Part Six

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter

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Part Six

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(Hermione and Draco are in a deserted dungeon corridor)

****

Hermione:

Why do I always meet you here?

****

Draco:

Will people see us, do you fear?

I'm not ashamed, no that's not it

I don't want them to throw a fit

Yours don't like me, mine don't like you

I thought this place would help us two

****

Hermione:

I don't know, I think you're whacked

I don't know why I'm here, in fact

I hate you, right? I hate your touch

****

Draco:

You talk about yourself too much

Why are you here? Are you a tease?

Ignoring me, do tell me please!

****

Hermione:

Shut up, shut up, you plastic dick!

To like you, I did not pick!

__

(Draco looks like Christmas has come early)

****

Draco:

You like me, oh happy day!

I never thought I'd hear you say-

-those words, I've dreamed it often though

Lets take it fact, forget the slow

****

Hermione:

No, lets not, you horny lover

I like you only as a brother

****

Draco:

That's a start for me, I guess

Though I feel I'm in a mess

My love of you has made me sick!

__

(Hermione is touched)

****

Hermione:

Just kiss me now, and make it quick!

__

(He does. SQUEE!)

****

Draco:

That was nice, now I must fly

__

(Draco runs down the hall. Hermione stares longingly at him)

****

Hermione:

He's really not a big, bad guy

I have to sleep now, man, I'm tired

I'll go back now, I bet Ron's ired

****

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

****

Prof. Flitwick:

Hello all, how is the morning?

****

Ron:

Sod off, my brain cells are still forming!

It's too early now for Charms

****

Hermione:

He's right, our sleep could cause some harms

****

Prof. Flitwick:

I guess you're right., Her-my-o-nee

Take a break, I have to pee

__

(He totters off. Harry, Ron, and HBP lean over towards Hermione)

****

Ron:

Where were you last night, my dear

I thought you dead, I had some fear

****

Harry:

Were you in the library?

****

HBP (in a hurry):

I was there, and so was she!

We had to study all night long

****

Ron;

So you were safe there all along!

__

(Harry and Ron have a chat. HBP sits next to Hermione)

****

HBP:

Where were you, you little minx?

Don't you lie, your ears are pinx (_an: hehehehe)_

You aren't as cutesy as you look

You were not snogging with a book

****

Hermione:

I wasn't kissing any one

****

HBP:

You don't lie well, you're much too fun!

I see the hickey on your neck

It's red and swollen like all heck!

****

Hermione:

OMIGOD! Are you for real?

Please don't tell them, please don't squeal

Both of them will kill Draco!

****

HBP:

Hey, this Draco I do know!

He's that guy, right over there!

The one with blonde and sexy hair!

__

(They turn to look at Draco, who gives a flirty wave)

****

Hermione:

You know him, God! I thought you didn't!

Don't tell them the incident

Ron will kill him, after Harry

They'll do it quick, and will not tarry

****

HBP:

Your secret's safe, I will not tell

Those two, lest I will burn in hell

****

OOOOOOOOOOOO

__

Okay….is he trustworthy? More Harry and Ginny action later…..she's pregnant! Squee! More Draco/Hermione goodness! Squee!

I love it when you guys give me rhyming reviews! It makes me feel like I'm inspiring you or something. Or maybe not.

I'm sorry if you want longer chapters….iI'l try my darndest to write some more in English Lit.

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Reviewers!

__

Puzzlette, slyswn28, scarlet-knight13, sassy-diva2004, shorty522, shanmo (email me with ideas…I think my email is in my profile. I'm a bit busy right now, I just started a new fic stupid me, but theres always a chance I can squeeze more in)** harryptaxd204** (I really want to know what your pename means. It bugs me) **lildaisygirl24 **(I celebrated National Tom Felton day with 9 of my Tom Felton loving friends, and one Dan Radcliffe loving one!) **l-babiegurl-l, hohohohoho **(I didn't but thanks for the warning)

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MY BIRTHDAY IS IN THREE DAYS!!!!! SQUEE!!!!

****


	7. Part Seven

Disclaimer: I don't own hp

****

Part….Seven?

__

(Hermione and Harry walk into the Common Room in the morning, only to be greeted by murmurs and giggles)

****

Some Random Student:

Hearken, hearken, there they are!

Those naughty children from afar!

What are they doing now, I say?

Have they come out here to play?

****

Hermione:

What has happened, Harry lad?

****

Harry:

I don't know, but I am mad!

Who did this? I do not know.

But hopefully they'll come to show!

****

Ron:

Harry, Harry, is it true?

What they say about you two?

****

Harry:

I don't know, what did they tell?

Did they share that I do smell?

****

Ron:

No, my friend, it is far worse

A reputation breaking curse

They said you did knock Ginny up!

Like a little horny pup!

****

Hermione:

That's not right, you little queer!

True, its not, right Harry dear?

__

(Harry twiddles his thumbs. Hermione and Ron are shocked)

****

Hermione (in a hurry):

Let us go to eat now, Harry

Before dear Ronald here gets scary

__

(They bolt out of the common room. But not before they hear….)

****

Another Random Gryffindor with no Name:

Hermione, oh is it true?

That Draco Malfoy kiss-ed you?

That you two stayed up all night long?

Isn't that a little wrong?

****

Harry:

Is that true, Hermione?

Did you lie to Ron and me?

****

Hermione:

Yes, its true, I'm sorry now

That stupid Albred is a cow!

I guess he told the whole damn school

About our secrets, so not cool!

****

Harry:

You kissed Malfoy! Omigod!

He's such a little stinking sod!

****

Hermione:

No he's not, he's really nice!

And hot, like that Vanilla Ice _(an: a bet I made with a friend)_

(Harry shakes his head)

****

Harry:

Well, you've sinned, and so have I

Time to kill that Albred guy!

****

Hermione:

Albred Hooc-Plinf is that boy's name?

Don't you think it's kind of lame?

What if it's a type of puzzle?

****

Harry:

Do you need to wear a muzzle?

Alberd Hooc-Plinf's a first class fiddle

****

Hermione:

IT'S LIKE TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE!

I thought that it was just for show

But Malfoy said a day ago

"You must heed the anagram!

"Or else your friend will turn to ham!"

****

Harry:

Could you please repeat that line?

It sounds confusing at this time

****

Hermione:

I might have messed it up a bit

But my message, this is it

His name is an anagram!

__

(Draco walks up)

****

Draco:

I really do not give a damn!

Have you not gotten my veiled hint?

From my really reckless stint?

__

(Harry and Hermione gape at him, totally clueless)

****

Draco:

You two are stupid little bints

"Alberd Hooc-Plinf" is "Half-Blood Prince"!

****

Harry:

Oh, is that really all you say?

I thought Hooc was spelt with "k"

****

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

__

Stupid stupid harry!

Did you all like my pretty anagram?

ALBERD HOOC-PLINF

HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

****

Reviewers!

Lildaisygirl24, XxPaDfOoTiExX, Elfaghetti, Maurader-Magick33, SlytherinRoyalty, shanmo, slyswn28, scarlet-knight13, shortie552

NEXT TIME:

Ron angsts, and finds true love/Draco and Hermione discuss their relationship…..sort of/Harry and Ginny emote about their baby…..and more!

Oh yeah….look up the Draco/Hermione C2 I'm part of….maybe even subscribe…..you won't regret it!


	8. Part Eight

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

__

Check out the C2 I'm part of! You'll love it!

****

Part 8

****

Harry:

What should we do, my Ginny dear?

Do we just lay, trapped with fear?

Will we keep the baby small?

Or will we just abort it all?

****

Ginny:

No, my sweet, that would not do

We will keep it, so that you

Can see how children really rock

__

(Hermione pops in)

****

Hermione:

Hey, do you two have a clock?

****

Harry:

How long were you there, my friend?

****

Hermione:

I heard it all until the end!

You're going to keep it, joy of joy!

Love the little girl or boy!

Congrats, you two, this is so neat!

****

Ginny:

Don't tell Ron, 'cause he might freak

He's a bit insane, I guess

Tell him, and he'll make a mess

****

Harry:

Where is he now, I'm asking you.

I'd think he'd over hear us too

****

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOI

__

(Ron is in a dark hallway. He sees Draco up ahead, and approaches)

****

Ron:

Hi, how are you, Draco lad?

I just heard some news that's bad

Wait here now, you wait and see

I heard you liked Hermione

****

Draco:

For that news, I do not blame

Who gave you my righteous name

With hers? It's not like they all say

Our names together every day

****

Ron:

From a source, anonymous

Now, hold still, so I won't fuss

Your hair, which you so proudly pose

I just want to punch your nose

__

(Ron takes a swing at Draco, and misses)

**Draco:**

Man, you suck, you really do

****

Ron:

Shut up, hold still, you piece of poo!

__

(He swings and misses again)

****

Luna:

Is that you with Ron, Draco?

****

Draco:

Come o'er here, so you may know!

__

(Luna comes over, and Ron accidentally socks her in the nose. Draco giggles madly, and runs away.)

****

Ron:

OMIGOSH! Are you alright?

I didn't mean to knock your light

I tried to hit the stupid pest

Who ran away, back to his nest

****

Luna:

That's okay, I treasure it

Because I meant to get your hit

I hope that it would somehow show

My love for you, that you now know

****

Ron:

You love me? That is so cool!

So now I do not hate this school.

__

(They kiss. Draco, still running, runs into Hermione)

****

Draco:

Hello sweetie, how are you?

Are you seeing Ronald too?

****

Hermione:

Don't say that, you handsome git

I won't let you go on with it!

I don't like Ron, as you well know

Our crush was just for shock and show

I like you, I mean, I DON'T

****

Draco:

You don't like me, or you won't?

I think our love is mutual

So let us consummate in full!

****

Hermione:

Since when did you become Sex God?

Or have you always been this odd

****

Draco:

No, I never was this way

Until they had Tom Felton play

Myself, In Harry Potter flicks

He did arouse the writing chicks!

****

Hermione:

For that reason, I can see

Because you also turned on me!

****

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

__

I rhymed "show" and "know" twice in one chapter! Augh, so not good! I haven't come up with good rhymes lately…I need to read more Seuss and Rupert Annuals

****

Reviewers

Marauder-Magick33, **rebekah1:** what?!? I always knew he was a dirty old man!, **scarlet-knight13,** **harryptaxd204,** **Megan,** **shanmo,** **sassy-diva2004,** **My Unreality:** I wrote this with the help of my friend, Jess, who rhymes way better than me, **Elfaghetti,** **lildaisygirl24,** **Draco's Little Mudblood**


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